For many people, dating is the most exciting part of their 20s. They're testing out new things and figuring out who they are as a person, so naturally, they'll be attracted to someone who does something similar. And when you're in your 30s, 40s, or 50s and looking for love (or just companionship), it can be easy to feel left behind or discouraged by the lack of dating options out there for you.
But don't give up! You have decades of life experience, wisdom about what works and doesn't work in relationships, and many great traits that make you excellent company—all things that will make your search more accessible than ever! Here are some tips on how to find love later in life:
Be Realistic
Be realistic about your age.
Be realistic about what you want out of a relationship.
Be realistic about how long it will take to find someone.
Be realistic about the dating world in general, especially if you're looking for something serious or long-term--it can be hard to find!
Be Open to New Dating Ideas
If you're over 40 or 50 and looking for love, there are a few things to keep in mind. The dating scene has changed since you were younger, and meeting people is more challenging. You may have to be more proactive about finding someone who shares your interests and values. You might even have to try something different from what worked for you in the past--like going on an online date or joining an activity group with single members.
Don't be afraid of change; embrace it! Be open-minded about what could happen next with this new person who caught your eye at the grocery store last week..
Get Out There
Ask friends to set you up with someone.
Use a dating site or app.
Consider going solo (especially if it's been a while since your last relationship).
Consider joining a club or organization where people in your age group hang out, like an alumni association or book club--the more diverse the membership, the better!
Question Your Choices
You'll want to question your choices.
Maybe you've always assumed that a romantic partner is the only way to have a fulfilling life, and now that you've reached this age and are still single, it feels like the end of the world. Maybe you believe that if someone doesn't love you back after so many years together, there must be something wrong with them—and, therefore YOU!
If this sounds familiar, don't despair--it's normal! And there are ways around these obstacles:
Be open-minded about what dating could look like in your life. Don't forget those amazing people who aren't interested in marriage or children but still deserve some commitment from us anyway (like friends).
Don't give up on finding love because one person didn't work out; keep trying until someone does!
Understand the Differences Between 20s and 30s, 30s and 40s, and 40s and 50s
If you're in your 20s or 30s, You're at the height of your career, so it's likely that you are focused on making money and achieving success in your field. You may also be looking for someone with whom to start a family.
If you're in your 30s: Now that you have established yourself professionally, some people might find themselves seeking more personal fulfillment from their relationships than before--which often means starting a family or getting married for the first time (or remarrying).
Know What You're Looking For
Before you start dating, it's essential to know what you want. It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of meeting someone new and forget about your own needs and desires.
The first step toward finding a fulfilling relationship is having an honest conversation with yourself about the kind of partner you want: Do you want someone who shares similar interests? Is personality more important than looks? How important are children or finances? If certain qualities are non-negotiable for you (like religion), make sure those come first when filtering through potential partners. And remember--you can always change your mind!
If you're not finding love in community groups or on apps or dating sites, consider going solo for a while.
Yes, it's a scary thought: being alone. But it may be time to take this step if you're trying to date in your 40s and 50s. You might find that being single allows you to reflect on what has worked well in previous relationships and what hasn't worked at all; think about what qualities are important to you in a partner, explore the side of yourself that doesn't need another person around all the time; figure out how much space (physical and emotional) do I want in my life right now? And then give yourself permission to be single and enjoy being single!
If this sounds like something that could work for you right now--and even if it doesn't sound like something that would ever work out well--consider these two benefits: First off, spending time alone helps us appreciate our own company more than ever before - which means when we do find someone special they'll feel extra special because they've earned their way into our hearts through self-love first rather than secondhand validation from external sources like friends/family members who may not always know what's best for us anyway."
Dating can be an opportunity for self-reflection: what do I like? What don't I like? How would I describe myself as a person? Dating helps us learn more about ourselves and our values, which will help us find someone who shares those values in their own life.
If you're thinking about dating and want to know what it looks like, remember there are many ways. You don't have to be in a relationship at this stage, and you don't have to date someone just because they want one with you. If you're having trouble finding love in community groups, apps, or dating sites, consider going solo for a while--you might find yourself meeting new people in unexpected places!
Have fun out there!
Erin
Time to Dish:
· Have you dated since your divorce or break-up?
· Did you find yourself falling into the same habits?
· Did you find it refreshing to talk to new people?
· Where did you find this person?
· Or are you enjoying solo time?