If you're single, your dating options may be limited. You might live in a small town or work too much to meet people outside the office…or whatever. A million reasons. Perhaps you've tried online dating – for god’s sake, who hasn’t?! - but felt you need more. I get it, as
does everyone else struggling with their “love life”(note the sarcastic clause quotes). So here are a few of my ideas for ways to tap into your local community if it seems like there aren't many single people around (and there are):
1) You're looking for someone to date but only have a few options? The problem is that your dating pool blows. Why? Because there aren't many people in it who are interested in you. The reasons:
· They might be looking for something different than what you're offering (e.g., they are not interested in having kids)
· They've already found someone who meets their needs better than you and would focus on that relationship instead of seeing another person to date when they're happy with the one they've got now (or vice versa).
2) The second reason your dating app options suck is that everyone else has already found someone, and those people might not even live nearby! You may also find yourself stuck between two groups: Those willing to meet up face-to-face right away vs. those who insist on keeping things strictly digital until later when things feel comfier and cozy between them both emotionally.
3) How to get over your dating app frustrations:
When your dating pool options suck (I hate that word, but it works here, it's easy to get frustrated and want to throw in the towel. But if you take a break from the app and go out with friends or family, you'll find plenty of people who would love to meet someone like you. Yes, YOU. Plus, it'll help give you some perspective on what makes for a suitable date versus just having fun with someone who doesn't necessarily want something serious. If all else fails, try making some new friends instead of dating them right away--there's nothing wrong with being single! You might even discover that hanging out with others can be more fulfilling than trying to find a romantic partner at this point (or maybe it won't). Either way: don't give up hope just yet!
Your assignment today:
· Find a friend to go out with you
· Go somewhere where you can meet people
· Go somewhere you enjoy and feel comfortable, like an art museum or a bookstore.
· Don't be afraid of rejection! If someone doesn't like you back, it's not the end of the world--they're not your type! Try again tomorrow with someone else who might appreciate what makes YOU so unique (and vice versa)
Net net, getting out of your comfort zone can be challenging, especially when your dating life is going nowhere. But trust me, if you put yourself out there and go out more often, you will meet people looking for a relationship like yours! I have heard from friends that their experiences changed once they stopped focusing on online dating and started going out more often with friends or family members instead (or both).
Until next time Dishers,
Erin