A worldwide theory has been gaining traction, particularly among women who value their peace over proving a point. It’s known as the “Let Them” Theory, and if you’ve experienced a divorce (or, let’s be honest, even a messy breakup), this might just become your new mantra.
I have been practicing controlling the controllables and letting the rest go. Many people judge you before, during, and after divorce. Many have opinions; maybe I am emotional, have an open heart, and crave love. I want someone to love me for who I am, and if they can’t, let them, then let me.
The Let Them Theory is simple: If they want to leave, let them. If they choose to speak poorly of you, let them. If they decide to ignore you, exclude you, misunderstand your intentions, or misrepresent your story, let them.
This isn't about giving up. It’s about letting go.
Divorce taught me to stop chasing closure. However, I still want it, but I need to let them go. It’s so hard, and I recently messed up by trying not to let them go.
After my divorce and subsequent dating experiences, I realized how much time I had spent managing other people’s perceptions—explaining myself, defending my choices, and correcting the narrative.
So, exhausting, right? The Let Them Theory reminded me that peace doesn’t come from being understood by everyone; instead, it arises from being true to yourself.
If your ex is dating someone new and thriving, let them. If you feel that ride-or-die friends gradually fade away, let them.
If others criticize your healing journey, parenting style, or new dating life, just let them be.
Their opinions don’t pay your bills. They don’t tuck your kids in at night. And they certainly don’t get to dictate how you heal.
Control Is a Myth; Peace Is a Choice
Divorce fractures your world and shatters your heart into a million pieces. Amidst the chaos, we strive to regain control. But here’s the truth: control is a comforting illusion. The harder you try to manage how others act, think, or feel, the more exhausted you become. The Let Them Theory is your permission slip to stop trying.
Allow them to be who they are. Let them show their true selves. Let them go if that’s what they intend to do anyway.
While they do whatever they intend to do, you concentrate on yourself.
Let Them… So, You Can Be Free
The Let Them Theory isn’t about bitterness or indifference. It’s about choosing yourself: your joy, your healing, your clarity, and your growth. It’s about realizing that what people do reflects them—not you.
So let them walk away if they need to. Let them underestimate you. Let them believe whatever helps them feel better.
While they’re being themselves, you’re here being the version of you that this next chapter deserves—calm, unbothered, and completely free.
What about you? Have you adopted the Let Them Theory in your post-divorce life? Please share your thoughts in the comments or slide them into my DMs. Let’s discuss reclaiming peace on our terms. 💬
If you haven't heard of this theory, I encourage you to explore https://www.melrobbins.com/—you can buy the book there. I listened to it on #audible, and much of what Robbins discussed resonated with my current experiences...so let them.
#DivorceeDish #LetThemTheory #HealingAfterDivorce #PeaceOverDrama #AlmostUnbotheredAndThriving #youdeservelove