October 21, It’s that time of year again—my wedding anniversary. A date that once symbolized love, commitment, and forever. But as I sit down to reflect, my life looks very different from what I imagined it would when I first said, “I do.” I’m no longer in that marriage. I’m divorced, and yet, this day remains significant to me.
Divorce and wedding anniversaries might seem like contradictions. On the surface, they represent the beginning and the end of a chapter in one’s life. However, as I’ve learned, life is full of contradictions that can coexist, and this is one of them.
The Wedding Anniversary: A Time for Reflection: Wedding anniversaries, even post-divorce, still hold meaning. They are more than just reminders of what once was. They are reflections of who I was, who I’ve become, and how the relationship helped shape me. When I think back to the day I walked down the aisle, I can’t help but remember the love and hope I felt, the promises made, and the joy shared.
That love was real. And for a time, so were the dreams. But as time passed, life happened—people changed, circumstances shifted, and what once was clear began to blur. We made the difficult decision to part ways, not out of hatred or bitterness, but because growth took us in different directions.
Divorce: A Different Kind of Growth: Divorce can feel like failure. At first, it was hard not to see it that way. But over time, I realized that divorce doesn’t invalidate the love that once existed. It doesn’t erase the good times or the lessons learned. It can be a moment of profound growth and self-discovery.
I’m proud of the strength I found during that process—the courage to be honest with myself and my partner, to choose happiness over fear, and to rebuild my life in a way that felt authentic to who I had become. Divorce taught me resilience. It gave me the space to learn about who I am on my own and what I truly want from life and relationships.
Honoring the Past While Embracing the Future: So, how do I feel on my wedding anniversary now? I honor it, but I don’t cling to it. Instead of viewing the day with sadness or regret, I see it as a marker of growth—both personal and within the relationship. It’s a moment to appreciate what was, acknowledge what no longer is, and be thankful for where I am now.
This day is a reminder of love’s complexity. I believe that love doesn’t always follow the path we expect. It’s messy and unpredictable, and sometimes, it requires us to let go. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t worthwhile.
A New Kind of Celebration: Nowadays, my wedding anniversary has taken on a new meaning. It’s a day to celebrate my resilience, my growth, and the new paths I’ve taken. And I celebrate the love I have for myself—the kind that grows out of the ashes of heartbreak and loss.
So, if you find yourself facing a wedding anniversary post-divorce, don’t feel like you have to ignore it. Don’t feel ashamed if it brings up memories or emotions. Instead, use it as a moment of reflection, growth, and, ultimately, self-compassion. Because in the end, the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself.
Here’s to anniversaries, love in all its forms, and the journey of becoming who we are meant to be.
Cheers,
Erin
xoxo